Blessings, Perseverance, and Determination (BPD): Life in the NICU and Beyond

I've been debating on whether I would do some "real time" blogging vs. giving you all the story in increments. I think I've decided to bounce back and forth, mostly for my own sake. There are still so many things going on with Baby P, that blogging in real time might be worthwhile. So for those that don't know our whole story, bear with me, we'll get back to that. Baby P, being born at 25 weeks, ended up with one set of extra large bilateral inguinal hernias. From what I understand, this is pretty common in micropreemies because the muscle wall is so weak, the intestines just slip right thru and hernias develop. But in our case, this kid's hernias were HUGE. Now, throughout our 178 day NICU stay, it was always a fear that one day, the hernias would not be "reducable" and we'd have to have surgery to repair them way before we felt ready. The other good thing was that, despite the size of those bad boys, Baby P seemed very unaffected by them. ...

When I was younger and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said "a mommy!" As I got older I also thought I wanted to be a teacher, but we can now see (almost 20 years later), that didn't happen! My first pregnancy happened when I was 24. It was rife with issues from the get-go...bleeding, poor weight gain, bedrest starting at 16 weeks, premature rupture of membranes at 19 weeks, and a live birth at 22 weeks. My angel baby MaKayla lived about 45 minutes, born on a bright sunny morning in June. In 1999, medicine just isn't what it is today (obviously), so we did nothing more than monitored bedrest at the time. There weren't any fancy Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors around like there are now (we are SOOOOO lucky to have a brilliant one here in our area currently!), so my appt to see a specialist was weeks after my rupture. I truly felt at that time, and for years after, that losing MaKayla was the hardest thing I ever endured. To want a child...

....I have no idea. I have no idea where to really begin with our journey. I've been thinking for a long time about starting another blog, and I wish I could have captured in "real time" what it's like to go thru the birth of micro-preemies, 2 NICU's in 2 different cities, the loss of a child, and a 178 day NICU stay for our son. But I didn't, because, well, life just didn't allow for that at the time. But on a daily basis, I still feel all the emotions associated with our life over the last year. Alternating between utter joy and utter despair on the daily has become a way of life I never anticipated, but I'm here and I want to share it with you. So let's start with some basics: (B)lessings: Broncho (P)erverance: Pulmonary (D)etermination: Dysplasia Most micro-preemie parents will understand BPD and it's continued theme in this blog. Basics about me: Soon to be 42.... I'm the "old" mom you should want to be friends with.....